


Sometimes

by almostblue (fictionalaspect)



Series: B.A.P short fics [10]
Category: B.A.P, K-pop
Genre: BDSM, Dry Orgasm, Exhibitionism, F/M, Fantasizing, Gangbang, Group Sex, Implied DaeJae (sort of), Implied HimUp (sort of), M/M, Master/Slave, Masturbation, Multi, Multiple Orgasms, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Other, Overstimulation, Pegging, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual exploration, Size Kink, Taboo, rough sex (consensual)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-13
Updated: 2013-11-13
Packaged: 2018-01-01 09:24:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1043172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictionalaspect/pseuds/almostblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Each BAP member has a secret kink that is their go to action of choice when jerking off. What is it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sometimes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thirstingdragon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thirstingdragon/gifts).



> For J, who is crap at being anonymous but I adore her anyways. I didn't know how to write the pairings down because it's all just...fantasies...but there's a fair variety. A lot of them are left open to the reader's interpretation. Thank you to suitofarmour, for always being willing to beta and teach me about things like how apparently English has a past perfect continuous tense even when I'm falling asleep on my keyboard. SHE IS BRILLIANT. ♥

Yongguk knows exactly how everything started. It's seared into his brain like a film negative. The edges of his memory may be blurry, but the center never is.

It was just some stupid video. Yongguk had been staying up too late working--and then very deliberately _not_ working--and a wrong click and suddenly he was not watching the free porn he had clicked on. Yongguk had chosen a nice, normal video with a hot girl and some guy eating her out and then fucking her while she moaned and gasped and whimpered. 

Normal. 

What Yongguk had suddenly been watching was some guy bent over on his knees, grunting and gasping for air as the woman behind him spread him open and fucked him with her strap-on. 

Yongguk had felt his stomach twist, heat pooling in his stomach and his spine and all the way down to his cock. This was--not okay. He shouldn't find this hot. The guy was _on his knees _for fuck's sake, getting fucked in the _ass _, and the woman in the video kept licking her lips and smiling.____

____She had rubbed the small of his back, changing the angle. The man in the video cried out and reached for his cock and Yongguk had followed suit, his face burning, biting his lip hard enough to leave track marks that didn't fade away until the next morning._ _ _ _

____Now, he doesn't bother with the formalities. He knows exactly where to find what he wants to watch, even if he'll take his secret to the grave. He can't imagine ever--he can't imagine telling anyone, even a girlfriend. Even his _wife_ , if he ever gets married. Yongguk always thought he wanted a nice girl. Someone who was passionate about current events the way he was; someone who supported his creativity while posessing her own. Someone who looked beautiful in jeans and a snapback. Someone who didn't need or care about cosmetics. _ _ _ _

____Yongguk still wants all of that._ _ _ _

____The problem is that he's starting to think his dream woman is also someone who'll just shove him down and fuck him in the ass, and--yeah._ _ _ _

____It's going to be just him and his computer screen for a long, long time._ _ _ _

____\--_ _ _ _

____Himchan is 80% sure that everyone in his band thinks he's secretly in love with Jongup._ _ _ _

____He's not--or he might be, he doesn't really know, but he doesn't think it's that kind of love. He likes teasing and he likes touching but it's not like any of maknae line end up in his fantasies._ _ _ _

____Sure, he wouldn't turn them _down_ , but that's not really what he wants. Pretty young things will always be pretty and young, but that's not what sets Himchan off. It's not what he thinks about at night when he's pressing his face into his pillow and trying to muffle his whines._ _ _ _

____He remembers the first time he saw it. He had been waiting impatiently for the subway, hands shoved in his pockets, when he noticed the two men next to him. They were older than him; college age, maybe. Somewhere in their twenties. They were unremarkable except for the thin band of silver that one man wore around his neck. It caught the light when he shifted and moved. Himchan had found himself fascinated. He wanted one._ _ _ _

____He had made sure to step on the train right behind them when it arrived, hoping to get a closer look. Maybe the clasp would say something. Maybe he'd be able to figure out where it came from._ _ _ _

____But the problem was that there was no clasp._ _ _ _

____Pressed together on the subway, his face almost in the back of the man's neck, Himchan had to admit to himself that this necklace--collar--whatever it was--was soldered on. The man couldn't take it off, unless a metalworker removed it for him._ _ _ _

____It was just--there._ _ _ _

____Forever._ _ _ _

____Himchan didn't understand until much, much later, when he was out of his teens and into his twenties, why that thought had made his face heat and his jeans uncomfortable._ _ _ _

____It makes sense now. Himchan gets it. He knows that deep down inside he wants to be someone's pet; spoiled, pampered, willing to do anything to please. He wants to belong to someone forever. Just the thought of it makes him gasp. It makes his stomach run hot and his body ache because he doesn't want to be touching _himself_. He wants someone else to be touching him. He wants someone else's hands pressing into his skin, telling him how much and how long. _ _ _ _

____He wants to be put on display and told he's beautiful--and then show his owner's guests just how beautiful he can be._ _ _ _

____\--_ _ _ _

____Daehyun doesn't bother with fantasies. All he needs to do is strip his cock and think about something-- _anything_ \--and it's done. He wishes he had more staying power, but at least he can get hard again within 20 minutes. He doesn't want to let his future wife down. He figures the first one's just a warm-up. _ _ _ _

____Right?_ _ _ _

____When Daehyun has time off--which is never--he lies on his bed at home and locks his door and pretends to be sleeping. He stuffs a thin T-shirt in his mouth and he's already hard by this point, because he's been thinking about this all day. Thinking about the moment when he's finally alone, and he can push himself as far as he can go._ _ _ _

____He likes it when his cock is sensitive and sore, when touching himself brings gasps and moans. He likes it when he pushes himself so hard that he comes clear and practically dry. By Dae's count, that usually happens around the fourth orgasm._ _ _ _

____His stomach is a mess by then, because he doesn't clean himself up in between. He just lies there and runs his fingers through the mess and thinks about someone standing in the doorway. He thinks about someone watching him descend into a filthy mess, his stomach slick with come, his hands sticky and sore._ _ _ _

____His mouth dry from panting but his lips still wet, ready for--anything really. Whatever that person in the doorway wants. It's always just a figure, an idea of an image. Daehyun doesn't like to look too closely at the fact that he's not sure if that someone is male or female._ _ _ _

____Either way, it's always enough to make him try for a fifth round._ _ _ _

____\--_ _ _ _

____When Youngjae jerks off, he thinks about his best friend._ _ _ _

____He realizes that this is incredibly fucked up and wrong and that he's going to hell. He realizes that he shouldn't be jerking off thinking about guys in the first place, and _especially_ not Jung Daehyun._ _ _ _

____He thinks the sheer filthiness of it is probably what gets him off so hard._ _ _ _

____He's been doing it ever since the first time he saw Daehyun naked and hard. Youngjae doesn't know why that flipped a switch in his brain, but it did. He'd spent days trying not to think about it and then weeks telling himself that it was wrong before he'd finally just given up and jerked off to the thought of jerking Dae off._ _ _ _

____Now, Youngjae has an arsenal of fantasies, each one hand-picked and carefully crafted. Daehyun crawling into his bunk one night and sucking him off, one hand over Youngjae's mouth so Youngjae stays quiet. Daehyun forcing him into a bathroom stall and down on his knees and Youngjae trying to take all of his cock, and failing. Daehyun always pets his hair in that one, rubbing the corner of his mouth and telling him that it's okay, he knows it's too big for him, he just wants Youngjae to take as much as he can._ _ _ _

____That one gets Youngjae off like a firecracker. He's not really sure why._ _ _ _

____When Youngjae is really desperate, when he has five minutes in the shower and they're late for rehearsal and he knows he's going to go insane if he doesn't release some tension, he goes straight for the fucking. He pictures Daehyun crawling into his hotel bed one night, kissing him with that sinful mouth. He pictures Daehyun knowing how to do everything, somehow, and opening Youngjae up with his fingers and then slowly pushing in, inch by inch, both of them gasping and whimpering._ _ _ _

____That one is two minutes flat. Youngjae has timed it before. Shampoo, conditioner, soap, Daehyun fucking him slowly and telling him breathlessly how tight he is._ _ _ _

____Yeah. Yeah, Youngjae knows it's fucked up, but._ _ _ _

____Oh well._ _ _ _

____\--_ _ _ _

____Jongup doesn't jerk off._ _ _ _

____He knows exactly how to do it--it's not rocket science--but he doesn't want to lose himself. He doesn't want to be lax and lazy and "relieve some stress," as his bandmates politely suggest from time to time._ _ _ _

____When he's dancing, he needs to be as tight as a wire. He needs to be coiled like a spring and on time and on beat and he just can't do that when something else is sapping his energy. He likes that feeling of restlessness under his skin. It pushes him to work harder._ _ _ _

____Sometimes Jongup thinks that maybe there's a darker reason, hidden underneath all of his carefully concocted excuses. Sometimes Jongup thinks that he'll be afraid of what he'll see._ _ _ _

____(Once--just once, when it had become unavoidable--he'd done it in the shower. He doesn't deny that it feels amazing. Everything is slick and hot and warm. He likes the weight of his cock in his hand. He likes the thickness of it and the way dancing allows him to snap his hips as fast or as slow as he wants._ _ _ _

____The problem is what Jongup had seen when he stroked himself. The problem is that Jongup saw things scared him, even as they turned him on. He saw himself grabbing someone by the hair and petting their lips before forcing his cock down their throat until they gagged. He saw himself leaving bruises and bitemarks, so no one else will touch his property. He saw himself wanting to make someone cry, and then kissing away the tears._ _ _ _

____It wasn't until he'd come with a ragged, desperate shout that he'd realized that person was Himchan.)_ _ _ _

____So Jongup doesn't jerk off. He dances and he goes for midnight runs and he pushes himself hard enough to fall into a dreamless sleep every night. He thinks he's doing well._ _ _ _

____Or he would be, if he could just stop shivering every time Himchan touches him._ _ _ _

____\--_ _ _ _

____Sometimes Junhong thinks he might be going insane._ _ _ _

There's a part of him that understands that he's 17, and this is probably perfectly normal. It's the part of him that listens to Himchan and Yongguk's careful silences, and occasional words of advice. As much as they all joke around, it's not like anyone ever approaches the topic directly. It's not like they sit down at the kitchen table and have conversations about jerking off, because that would be _fucking weird_. 

But sometimes Junhong wishes they would, just so he'd _know_ if he's normal. 

____On the rare nights that Yongguk is asleep and he's the only one left staring at the ceiling, it's become his only defense against the energy drinks and caffeine pills that they all pop like candy. When his heart is racing and he needs to slow down, but he also needs to be awake in three hours--it's just the best solution._ _ _ _

____It's not that he's still harboring some sort of religious guilt about jerking off. He's over that. He's not sure he even believes in anything anymore, but he still wonders if there are depths of depravity that flow deeper than some angry god._ _ _ _

____It starts in their living room. It always does. The person who kisses him may change, but the scenery doesn't. Sometimes it's Yongguk, pressing him into a wall with rough kisses that bruise his lips into a mess of red and purple. Sometimes it's Youngjae, his eyes dancing, moving in closer and closer. A slow smile breaks out on his face when Junhong doesn't back away, and then they're kissing, soft and desperate._ _ _ _

____Sometimes it's Daehyun. Jongup. Himchan._ _ _ _

____Junhong thinks that if he were normal--for certain variations of normal, anyway--that's where it would end. Sure, maybe it's a little outside the pale, but Junhong has always been fascinated by things he can't have. The problem is that over time that fascination has somehow grown into this - into wanting all of them, all at once, however he chooses. He wants to be able to lick his lips and order them around, just because he can. He wants one of his hyungs behind him, biting at the curve of his neck, while another one of them is on their knees, sucking him off._ _ _ _

Junhong wants everything he can't have, and that includes all the weird shit he's found on the internet over the years. He wants fingers and hands and mouths. He wants to fuck someone and know what it feels like to be inside them. He wants someone to fuck him, to press him down into the mattress and hold him still. (He also really, _really_ wants to go down on a girl, but that's another fantasy). 

Junhong just _wants._

____And if he's picked out certain members for each role--if he knows exactly who he wants on their knees, and who he wants fucking him deep and slow, and whose face he wants to come on, well--_ _ _ _

____There are some secrets that should never be told._ _ _ _


End file.
